By Emely Abreu '21
Lately social media has felt very toxic, as there has been in increase in hate crimes, domestic terrorism, and violence against women. It has gotten increasingly difficult to read or see information that pertains to these topics, and easier to choose to continue scrolling. That is not to say that I have not kept myself informed on prevalent issues, but when the issues are targeted towards you, and there is so much negativity, it becomes more burdensome to stomach them.
As a Latina, I have grown up around misogyny and “machismo.” I have seen male family members get away with sexist comments because they learned that as a man they had to be the provider of the family, the one who makes the decisions, and the one women should submit to. Living in Washington Heights, an area heavily populated by Dominicans, I have gotten catcalled by men of all ages, and have had female family members tell me, “Just ignore them; that is just how they are.” The older generation of Hispanic women have become so accustomed to these disgusting actions that they think this harassment is okay, and should be taken as a compliment. This response never sat well with me, but as I have gotten older I have realized that most times it is better to ignore these toxic and fragile men, and keep it moving. It is so scary to think, “What if he is having a bad day, and my talking back upsets him so he retaliates?”, yet it is a thought that all women know too well. So how can we combat this misogyny and sexism?
Education is elevation. Kate Manne, a philosophy professor at Cornell, says, “Misogyny is not about male hostility or hatred toward women — instead, it’s about controlling and punishing women who challenge male dominance. Misogyny rewards women who reinforce the status quo and punishes those who don’t.” Misogyny enforces the patriarchy, the very societal construct we need to dismantle. So it is great that more and more individuals are becoming increasingly confident in combatting male fragility, and embracing all parts of themselves, which aids in the process. As more men embrace their femininity, and go against gender roles, and as more women stop pushing those roles onto men (such as saying “be a man” and “real men don’t get hurt”), the better our society will be. It is especially important to recognize our implicit biases in order to work to unlearn cultural prejudices and traditional gender roles.
Men play a huge part in this discussion because they perpetuate this behavior. No, not all men are sexist and harass women, but many do, which makes it crucial for all men do their part in stopping that behavior, calling out other men, and learning to be an ally for women. As for women, we need to stop believing men have to act a certain way in order to prove their masculinity.
We live in a scary world, and it is important to remain vigilant. Call or text people if you are going out or are in danger, and even carry tools to use as self defense. As women, we should not have to do these things, nor should we have to be afraid to go outside, but we sadly do not live in an equal and just society, and need to continue to protect ourselves until we achieve it.
Editors: Ms. Brilliant and Cecilia Fiorindo
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